Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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