That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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