it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
