his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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