Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
My balls are so social today.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
