I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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