1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
