What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Randomize