So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
