No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
