5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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