is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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