The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
