I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
