the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
