before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
