I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
