you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
