Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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