I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
