it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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