i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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