What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
