After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
