that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
