On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize