There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
