I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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