guys are not supposed to queef...right?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize