so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Randomize
