I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just gargled with NyQuil
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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