oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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