ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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