My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
