Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
