you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
