Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
