quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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