dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
