You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
