I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
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