Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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