We named our party play list daddy issues
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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