So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
