My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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