the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
