so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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