So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
