Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
