You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
