yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
