Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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