Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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