dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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