So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I fill condoms, not promises.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
