My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
