question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
