Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
