She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize