Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
